How to be more assertive as an introvert

about being assertive, assertiveness, Communication Assertive


Being introverted doesn't necessarily mean you're shy. And yet introverts often find it harder to be assertive.

Why is that? And above all, what can you do about it? Here are 3 tips to be more assertive if you are more introverted.

First, clear up a few misunderstandings. People often think that being introverted means that you are not social or able to work well with others, or that you don't have enough ambition to move forward or that you like to sit in a corner and close yourself off from your surroundings.

It's actually like this: extroverted people get energy from social interaction while it costs energy for introverted people. A good (introverted) friend of mine once said: "Introverts have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while they wish they were home in their pajamas.

Introverts prefer to spend their energy on good friends, colleagues and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak and often feel that they can express themselves better in writing than verbally. They hate conflict or pointless talk, but rather enjoy personal and in-depth conversations.

People who are more extroverted tend to take more risks and act more quickly. Introverts feel the need to think before taking action.

Research has shown that most people believe that extroverted employees make faster progress in their careers. So: if you are extroverted and assertive, you get the promotion.

The same research suggests that 40% of introverts would like to be more assertive and direct.

Below are three steps for introverts to communicate more assertively.

1. Prepare

A meeting or group discussion? That probably doesn't make you happy. At least make sure you're well prepared. Plan ahead which questions you might be asked, what your answers are and make sure you take the time to recharge your batteries in advance. If you are well prepared, this will give you extra confidence to be more assertive during the meeting or the conversation.

2. Communicate more than necessary

People are busy and busy with their own things. Do not expect others to spontaneously notice what your progress, achievements or challenges are in your job. Learn to proactively share information, updates or news about your successes in your job. Your extrovert colleague does this spontaneously and a lot. If you don't do it, chances are that no one will know how hard you work. So be more assertive and make clear what your impact is in the company and the team. Don't just share your successes, dare to ask for help when necessary.

3. Get out of your comfort zone

It's safe to stay in your own cocoon, send emails or text messages behind your PC via your mobile. Use that phone to talk to your colleague. Oral communication is still stronger than sending a text message. Or better yet, get off your desk and talk to someone. Face-to-face communication helps build trust and strengthens ties with your colleagues and managers. Set the goal, for example, to talk within the first five minutes at the next meeting and to present yourself as a committed participant.

Exercise is an art, especially with every new or learned behavior. With a little preparation, training and confidence in yourself, you can become more assertive as an introvert and transcend yourself.

In this video you get a technique to get a message across in an assertive way.