We all need to be assertive at some point. But it is not always easy to set clear boundaries and stand up for your own interests, opinions or values. Often we think: What if the other gets upset? Or what if I the friendship, the working relationship or my career at risk?
How can you be more assertive and stand up for yourself?
A very effective and easy to use technique to convey an assertive message iis the DESC method.
This technique is so powerful because it helps you to express your feelings in an objective way and to make clear what you want, while also taking into account the needs of the others.
The technique consists of 5 steps:
- Describe: describe the situation or behavior objectively and stick to the facts.
- Explain: explain your own state of mind or feelings in relation to that situation or behavior.
- Suggest a Solution: suggest a solution, make it a win-win situation.
- Consequences: highlight the positive points or advantages of the proposed solution for both parties.
- Commitment / Contract: conclude with an agreement, with a concrete agreement.
In this video, communication coach Jerko Bozikovic explains how to apply this technique.