How to connect better with others

about body language, nonviolent communication


Have you ever experienced this: you're in deep conversation with someone and suddenly you realize that you both have the same pose. Or you notice that you suddenly pick up someone's accent.

Research has proven that mirroring your conversation partner's gestures, posture or way of speaking is an excellent way to get on the same wavelength, to understand each other better and to make more connection.

Usually we do it subconsciously, but you can use a number of simple mirroring techniques to have great conversations and to make sure you get people, and they get you.

A study in sales techniques showed that representatives sold more products when they copied the nonverbal and verbal behavior of customers. In addition, their customers had a more positive opinion about the service.

Let me ask you this: are there people with whom you want a better connection? Maybe your manager, a colleague, or even your partner or children?

The beauty of the mirror technique is that anyone can do it, and the effect is almost immediate.

Mirroring others has a very positive result. It is a powerful technique for strengthening relationships just because you focus your attention on the other person.

Here are 3 tips to make a better connection with others using mirroring

1. Show you care

To be able to mirror properly, you need to give your conversation partner full attention. Eye contact is a vital component of human connection. This is a first important step

2. Change the way you speak

Does the other person speak loud and fast? Then increase your volume and tempo. Do they speak softly? Then talk a little quieter and gentler.

3. Follow the movements

Without exaggerating, try to subtly match the other person's movements. If they cross their arms, cross yours as well. If they lean back in their chair, do the same. Keep a few rules in mind: leave a few seconds between the other person's movement and yours. In other words, don't let it stand out, because then it won't work. Don't imitate every movement, be selective and only mirror the general posture without wanting to imitate every detail.

Most people like to be understood and feel that they are being listened to. In a world where we often settle for a superficial human connection, you can use this mirror technique to show more empathy and to make a deeper contact with others.

In this video, communication coach Jerko Bozikovic shows some practical examples of the mirror technique. 

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